You may be wondering, if God is so loving, then why did He let these things happen? I wouldn't let Him. I didn't know how. I was afraid then of what others might think or say. I would quietly worship God on Sunday, but allow others to dictate how I acted Monday through Saturday...and I hated it the whole time, living in misery, but showing the world a smiling face. I literally hid in my suffering, for years, and years, and years.
Today, I watch others doing the same things. I watch as one person after the other says something about God, praising Him today, then tomorrow they say something with the foulest language or crudest remarks. Still, a few days later, when their lives have taken a turn and something bad comes along they wonder why God is doing this to them. They flit back and forth between God and their misery, never making up their minds.
"Now above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath. Your "yes" must be "yes," and your "no" must be "no," so that you won't fall under judgment." ~James 4:12
For years I was made excuses for the mess my life was in. I had no idea that what I felt down in the pit of my soul was the work of the enemy. There was literally a ball of "yuck" inside me that was churning and making me more miserable. I had no idea that it was years of the oppression, verbal and mental abuse, and bullying that I had endured, clear into my adult years.
An EXCUSE is a LIE disguised as a REASON.
What I needed was for God to take care of ME! I needed a major pruning, and some of the things coming out of me needed to be thrown in the fire.
One night, they were. The night God healed me, He removed every hurt, every foul word ever spoken to me or from me, and He began to patch me up. I was transformed in that one evening and given new wings to fly. I was given a destination and pointed in the right direction to get there. Then God gave me a little push, like giving a little bird a lift to fly, and off I went!
"...but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint." ~Isaiah 40:31
You too, have a calling from God! Believe it or not, you do. He has a plan for you, He has a job for you, and you need to believe that right now. Stop letting the enemy convince you that God is doing these bad things to you. He's not. He loves you very much. So let your "yes" be "yes," and your "no" be "no," and stop playing on the fence. Instead, make up your mind to let God mend your fence and let Him give you the wings to fly off of it.