Sunday, August 26, 2012

Word Your Words Well

My husband (DA) and I were talking one evening and he brought home a very good point; "I think you need to practice how you word telling people about your website."

"I know, but every time I hand someone a card, I go blank." It was true. And I told him that, "I want people to visit my website, but when I start to give them a card, I really don't know exactly how to explain to them that I write encouraging words for women who suffer mental and emotional abuse, like I have since I was a little girl."

"Well, there it is right there," he said. "Say it again."

"I write encouraging words for women who suffer mental and emotional abuse, like I have since I was a little girl."

There it was. My byline. If you want to call it that. But how does one tell another that they write about their healing from God from oppression and intimidation without intimidating them as well? That was it. I hadn't realized that saying it the way I used to was possibly causing people to shy away from me, making them uncomfortable, or even causing them to think that my abuser was my husband! On the contrary. He is actually my protector, defender, supporter, and best friend!

I wasn't wording my words well... because, having been intimidated by various women since I was a little girl, I did not know how to properly get my words to come out of my mouth the right way. Growing up, I was never allowed to defend myself. If I did open my mouth, well we just won't discuss that. And even though it sounds like I had a horrible childhood, it wasn't all that bad... just very oppressive and manipulative.

I loved my mother and my grandmother, don't get me wrong. However, neither one of them knew how to properly love either, due to their upbringings. My mother had been abused both mentally, emotionally, and on occasion, physically. Her mother... well we're just not really sure about hers. And my great-grandmother we're even more unsure of. Although we do know that her father was abusive. We actually discovered through research, that because they had so many daughters, he wanted to start a brothel! Fortunately his wife (my great-great-grandmother) put her foot down and stopped it before it got started. Needless to say, my maternal background is not all sunshine and roses. 

"When you go through persecution and rejection, it's not always because somebody has it in for you. Sometimes, that's God's way of directing you into His perfect will." ~Joel Osteen (Becoming a Better You)

So here's my chance to change all that. I have definitely made mistakes raising my children. I don't think I've made such horrible mistakes that my children are going to be scarred for life, but I did try to raise them in a loving, Christian environment. We went to church together. They learned about the love of Jesus. And for the most part all three of my kids have grown into very self-sufficient, self-confident, adults, who all know the Lord. I'm very proud of them.

When the Lord healed me of the mess I was carrying deep within me, He gave me this outlet to tell my story to people who are suffering mental and emotional abuse of one form or another. And I will say this, were it not for DA stepping into my life, I would not be where I am today. God crossed our paths early in our childhood (around 4th and 5th grades). We would pester and aggravate one another for years, until he finally asked me out on a date in June of 1980. That one date was all it took... and 32 years later, we're still together. 

I truly hope that each of you reading this today have found, or do find, your certain someone who will love you, support you, and defend you unconditionally, as I have found in my husband. Because the Lord is on your side. He will send someone for you to be with. 

Sure, I still have people in my life who are intimidating, oppressive, and manipulative. But they have no affect on me now. Because of the Lord's healing and because I have a great support system, I am now able to move forward in my life and help others as well. I'm beginning to word my words a whole lot better, too so that I can "write encouraging words for women who suffer mental and emotional abuse, like I have since I was a little girl." 

Every true work of God has had its bitter enemies- not only outside, but also inside-  just as in the days of Nehemiah. ~D. L. Moody ("Revivals" sermon, 19th century)


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