Saturday, February 2, 2013

Moving On!

Onward and upward! There is only so much you can do before you have to move on. For years I stayed in a constant state of oppression for which I was miserable. But one day I decided that I was sick of my mental and emotional state. I was tired of living day to day being knocked down by the words and insensitivity of others. I was tired of living by what others thought of me and what others tried to tell me to do.

Here I was, a 46-year-old-mother-of-three-Nonney-to-two-wife-of-one who couldn’t function throughout the day without her mind wandering and replaying hurtful things people said to me over, and over, and over, and over…. You get the picture.

I knew Jesus. I served Him (I thought). And I knew that there had to be more to life than what I was living, but I didn’t know how to access it, or get to it. But one thing I did know; there was something going on at the church I was attending and by golly I wanted some of it. No… I wanted a WHOLE BUNCH OF IT! I wanted my mind healed. I wanted OUT of this crazy, mixed up, broken record of a mental state that I was in. It was time for me to move on.
I got that on May 30, 2012. 

I talk about that date a lot and I will repeat that a lot, because that date is very significant in my life. It was a turning point for me. It was a day…well, night that God healed my mind and turned my life around. And while I started this website to write about my story, it isn’t finished yet. It won’t be finished until I step into eternity. I hope that won’t be for a long, long time. I would like to be like Mary Higgins Clark; in my eighties and still writing strong! That though, will be according to God’s plan for me.

But as I write about the things that God has healed me of, I also realize that even from that, I must move on. There is so much more to this journey than where I have come from. There is where I am going. There is what I am learning. And to you who are reading, there is also HOPE.

I came from a place in my life where I was ready to give up hope. I thought I was destined to live in this “hell hole” of mental destruction for the rest of my life, and to die a miserable, lonely, bitter, old woman. My maternal grandmother died like that. And I never wanted it.

My hope came rushing in on the night of May 30, 2012. I was given a new outlook on life. I was given a new mental state. I was given a new everything from the inside out and I was joyous! And I was given a story to tell. Because there are people out there who are suffering as I did who need to know that there is hope for them, too. You CAN get out of that mental state you are in. You CAN survive. The enemy wants to keep you down, but God wants to raise you up!

It is time to move on! It is time to move up! It is time to put your shoes on and let God lead you into something wonderful! It may sound crazy, but if you are in the trenches and can’t find your way out, let me tell you right now, grab onto the rope! You might be saying right now, “I don’t know how!” I didn’t know how, either. But someone led me out, and I want to lead you out. Trust me.  Jesus is the ONLY way to get out of where you’re at. But you have to trust Him.

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” ~John 14:6

Now that I’m out, I realize that there is even more than I realized. And since I have been writing, there is even more than that! It is time for me to move on and move up. My journey to forgiveness has just begun. Won’t you join me?


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