Thursday, May 30, 2013

A Year in My Life . . .

As I look back through my posts on this website, I can see so many changes, so much spiritual growth, so many blessings. It was one year ago today that God healed my mind and my soul and set me on this journey. What started out as a journey to forgiveness has turned into so much more than that. It's not just about finding forgiveness for others, but finding mercy, grace, and especially hope in the struggles that we face daily and the people we come in contact with. It's about finding our purpose. But above all of that, this journey is about growing closer and closer in our relationship with Jesus. Because you see, without Him none of this would be possible.

One year ago on May 30, 2012, I made the decision that I wanted my mind healed of all the pent-up emotions that were keeping me prisoner of my own mind. I wanted healing from the intimidation and manipulation that I suffered at the hands of many. I wanted to grow in my spiritual walk. I wanted a close relationship and even closer one with Jesus, with my husband, with my kids and with my grandkids. And I knew deep within my soul that I would never have that as long as I battled things in my mind.

With that decision, I had no earthly idea what was about to happen to me. I was a little hesitant, a little apprehensive, about going forward at church and asking for someone to please pray with me for God to heal my mind. But here's where everything shifts into something totally amazing... God already knew my decision, knew my heart, and knew what I wanted... AND... He already prepared everything and every person to be there when I stepped forward! 

This is how awesome and amazing our God works. When my pastor met me at the front of the church, HE told ME what I was there for! When he prayed for me, when others prayed for me, they spoke the very things that I was afraid to speak and that I did not know HOW to speak! Yet, here they were, interceding on my behalf, and here I was, agreeing with them repeating what they said, and telling God, "I receive that!" What happened next is nothing but a miracle...

God healed me from the bottoms of my feet, to the top of my head! It is such an amazing thing to actually FEEL your soul heave a sigh of complete relief! How can I put this in terms that others can was as if a giant eraser swiped through my mind and cleared away all the graffiti that had been marking up my thoughts and my view. All those recordings of the hurtful words people said to me were erased, and I was free. For the first time in my life I was FREE! And the next morning, He gave me a verse to show me the path He had put me on.

The Spirit of the Lord is on Me, because He has anointed Me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim freedom to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor. ~Luke 4:18-19, HCSB (emphasis added)

I'm still free! Oh, there are still battles within my mind, but I am now better equipped to handle them. I still have verbal abuse thrown my way, but I can better bat it away. Those who want control can't have it. There is no room for them. Only room for the Lord. He has shifted my entire existence. I am closer to Him, closer to my husband, my kids, and my grandkids now. I have new friends who spur me on, encourage me, and accept me for... ME. Do I miss my past? No. I miss what could have been if things were different. But I can't dwell on that. Because those who are in my past, even though I love them, have to stay in my past. I can love them now, I can forgive them now. But they can't hurt me anymore because they have no control over me.

This is a year in my life. It's been an awesome year. It's been a fantastic year. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that it's only going to get better and better. Thanks God, for loving me enough to not let me stay the way I was, and for making me a better person. Continue to help me to help others find the freedom in Christ that you have helped me to find. In the name of Jesus!


Anonymous said...

Shelley, I love reading your stories!! You're such an amazing person!! Love ya!! Jean Anne

Shelley Wilburn said...

Thank you, Jean Anne. It's all about God.

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