Sometimes… well sometimes you
just have a little thought pop into your head and you realize, wait a minute,
something ain’t right. Yes, I know ain’t
isn’t proper. But this gal is anything but proper… especially the last
four-and-a-half-years.
Yeah, so I had a little thought
pop into my head and I did realize that, oops, I’ve done gone and got full of
myself. Not really the kind of full of myself that renders me nasty to others.
Just neglectful, if that’s a real word (I’ll
check the dictionary later for that one)*. Not only was I neglecting the
housework (I’ve never really been very
good at that anyway – but I promise I’m not a slob), but I was neglecting
the smaller things like paying attention to the little people running around my
house, the bigger people talking to me, and …the big one, I was neglecting God.
I used to get up early. I mean
really, I’m a night owl so how could I stay up late and then get up early? I
was excited about getting to talk to the Lord, that’s how. But lately I noticed
that I slept later and later and when I would sit up in bed, I would try to
croak out a small, but semi-heartfelt, “Thank
You, Lord” as I would also try to get my brain to come up with something
else to say to my Creator, my Savior, the One who not only gave His life for
me, but saved me and then healed me! How could I possibly be ignoring Him? Yet
I was.
I didn’t feel that closeness. I
didn’t feel that connection. Yet here I was just days from beginning a ladies
Bible study in my home, no less, and
I wasn’t quite prepared spiritually for it. I knew I couldn’t just wing it.
Nope. These ladies are perceptive if nothing else. Plus, they know me.
Bible study aside, I began to
realize that when God changes you, He does it from the inside out. Therefore,
people who have known you for long periods of time don’t readily see that
change unless you allow it to eep out your pores, your breath, your everything.
What’s even more difficult is when those same people won’t seem to allow you to
be your new self. It’s difficult to maintain that newness, that sparkle, that
excitement that only the Holy Spirit can stir within you.
Still, you must press on.
I guess my point to this madness
is that people make mistakes. Just because I’m healed doesn’t mean that I don’t
have trying times. It doesn’t mean that my life is perfect. I just admitted
that it’s not. It also doesn’t mean that I’m crazy, need to be admitted to a
mental ward, or even that I’m mentally unstable. None of those things are true
and couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m perfectly stable and sane. I just stepped off the narrow
path and my light dimmed a bit – the light that was lighting my path so I could
see which way to go.
You know, in Romans it says that none
of us are righteous (perfect). Not
even one (Romans 3:10). It also
states that “we all fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23) So what are we to do, those of us who aren’t perfect?
That means all of us, by the way.
What are we to do? Oh, well here’s the simplest part – All we have to do in
order to make things right again, not only in our lives but with the Lord is to
humbly ask Him to forgive us for the
things we’ve been doing. Confess it! Tell Him everything. It’s okay, He already knows anyway.
We think we’re so sneaky, but we
aren’t. God sees everything. But the beauty of that is He is not mad at us. No,
He’s not. He does love us however, regardless of the junk we have been trying
to hide, the things we’ve been doing, saying, thinking, looking at, all of it.
He loves us in spite of ourselves.
Look, I wouldn’t lie about this.
I can’t. What I can do is tell you that we really can tell God everything and
He promises to listen. Even better is that before you can ever begin to utter
your repentance, He is already making everything right again both inside and
outside of your heart.
“I cry out to the LORD; I plead for the LORD’s mercy. I pour out my complaints before him and tell him all my troubles.” ~Psalm 142:1-2 (NLT)
Not sure? It’s okay. All it takes
is just an nth of faith (that’s smaller
than a mustard seed) and an inkling of trust that He’ll do what He said He
would and when you utter the tiniest of, “I’m
sorry, Lord,” He will hear you and forgive you. Oh, but lovelies He takes
it one step further than that. When you honestly tell God you’re sorry and ask
Him to forgive you, not only does He forgive but He even chooses to forget all that junk you confessed (Hebrews 8:12). So it’s forever gone! I
love that part.
Now then… why are we still hanging
around here, wallowing in our self-pity? Excuse me y’all but I’ve got Someone
to go talk to.
Blessings!
Shelley
*P.S. – According to Merriam Webster Dictionary, neglectful is a real word. It means, not giving enough care or attention to someone or something. Hm… kinda hits you where you live, doesn’t it?
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